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LAST WILLS and TESTAMENTS – Class of 2016

Last Wills – Class of 2016

 

I, Patrick Gatcliffe, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. McKeon, Alex Suarez for another four years; to Coach Pedro, a flexible middle without knee problems; to Br. Eugene, educated bovines; to Ms. Cofresi, a chancleta holster; to Mr. Ortega, his old Smartboard; to Mrs. Chomat, students that can read the English; to Mr. Crossman, a wheelchair and power over Cerebro; to Br. Herb, a “yo-yo-less” Period 3; to Mr. Panzer, a world not much with us; and to Mr. Ciocca, a standing ovation. All joking aside, I thank all my teachers and mentors from my four years of Columbus. Thank you for your patience, understanding, and wisdom.

 

I, Sebastian Planas, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Delgado and Ms. Hidalgo, their sanity which I borrowed 4 years ago but forgot to return; to Mr. Mederos, a plaque saying “It’s not about the math, it’s all about the physics”; to Mr. Aviles, a mute button for the bell, or a hammer; to Mr. Ortega, a working Smartboard; to Mr. Crossman, the picture of his face photo-shopped on a unicorn from our junior year final project; to Mr. Ciocca, a talking statue that says all his bad jokes for him; to Mrs. Galvez-Cuesta AKA Mama-Mas, a plaque saying “World’s Best Mom” and more secretaries.

 

I, Andres Arguelles, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Trujillo, I leave a beautiful German blonde woman; to Coach Stewart, I leave a wonderful Manchester City jersey; to Coach Weber, the ability to always stay back and lead with the hip; to Brother Herb, the patience to deal with Yo Yo’s every day; to Mr. Linfors, all the time wasted in class because I interrupted him while he was teaching; to Ms. Vinson, thank you for all you’ve done for me; and, finally, to Mr. Lynskey, I give nice dress shoes, for which he doesn’t own – you don’t know me but you’re my hero, sir.

 

I, Alex Acevedo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Isenberg, a day in the life of Gregg Edelman; to Mr. Ciocca, an endless supply of watches so he always knows what time it is; to Mrs. Foyo, an endless supply of flowers so I don’t fail her class; to Mr. Moritz, an endless supply of razors so his students can shave; to Mr. Mederos, the mathematics so we can have the physicist; to Mr. Linfors, an endless supply of Irish beverages.

 

I, Norman Valenzuela, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mrs. Foyo, a cafecito and a big hug for being the best teacher my freshman year; to Fr. Julian, a Ding, and a final “Hello Father”; to Mr. Aviles, 10,000 sets of bicep curls, bigger biceps, and a unlimited supply of protein powder, Reese’s peanut butter cups, and Nexium tablets (Do you still take those?); to Mrs. Chomat, a big hug and thank you for preparing me and for opening my eyes to what a college chemistry class will be like; to Mrs. Gonzalez, everything Hello Kitty; to Ms. McCullagh, a brand new Tesla; to Dr. Dugard, a Buddy Mary, so that she can give Buddy Jesus some company so he doesn’t get lonely; to Mr. Cunningham, a job in the US Circuit Courts; to Mr. Morrissey, lumberjack clothes to match his lumberjack beard; to Br. Felix, all the Mozart he can possibly listen to and unlimited Diet Coke; to Mr. Scholer, “SHUT THAT BACK DOOR!”, and a thank you for your “Life Notes” and Brother Duke; to Mr. Linfors, a thank you as well, for allowing me to write on The LOG specifically about Cross Country, and for the Last Minute Essay Survival Guide; to Mr. Kumer, access to TOR; to Mrs. Cofresi, unlimited coffee and a brand new labrum; to Mr. O’Brien, a one way trip to India to live as a yogi for the rest of his life; and finally, the best for last, to Coach Pino and Coach Cabrera, a sincere thank you for being the best Cross Country coaches ever. Being on the team was the best part about being at Columbus. Also to Coach Pino, thanks for giving me a D on my first history quiz ever here at Columbus, (We really bonded from that moment on, didn’t we? Lol), I wish to you and to all the Castaways the best of health, and also a big “YEEEE!” And “OYYY YOOO!” Teachers come and go and teach in the classroom, but you four (Pino, OB, Linfors, Scholer) taught me in the classroom and still go above and beyond to teach me about LIFE. Thanks a million!

 

I, Carter Mackle, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ibarra, a lifetime supply of Goldbond; to Mr. Crossman, a collection of hats and stilts; to Dr. Burrus, an original and unique first name; to Mr. Linfors, my Grendel; to Ms. Cofresi, an infinite supply of chancletas; and to all my teachers who have helped me survive my four years here, my heartfelt thanks.

 

I, Ryan Villacorta, being of relatively sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Linfors, the powers of Tom Bombadil, only usable within A-12; to Ms. McCullagh, the Constitution; to Mrs. Cofresi, all the money I never put in the non-existent swear jar; to Mr. Ciocca, a snail in a Subaru so he can watch that s-car go; to Mr. Rodriguez, a vinyl edition of Tom Jones’ “What’s New Pussycat”; to Mr. Crossman, a very convincing wig, all the journals I never turned in, and a sincere thank you; to Br. Herb, access to a NASA facility so you can send all the space cadets to where they belong, and a Spanish-English dictionary; to Mr. O’Brien, a DVD of your Star Trek audition tape, and your memory of the 60’s back; to Mr. Trujillo, a parachute from the 101st; to Mrs. Alegret, a lifetime subscription of MaryKnoll magazines; to Paul, a new golf cart and my undying thanks for protecting us all these years; and, to Mr. Lynskey, a box of Tic Tacs to play roulette with.

 

I, Alexander Santana, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Pugh, my Junior Class President Ring Ceremony speech; to Mr. O’Brien, a pet manatee and $10,000,000 to benefit the Castaways Against Cancer; to Br. Eladio, $1,000,000 to benefit the Squires Club; to Br. John, a sincere thank you for giving me the opportunity to lead both the Pre-Law and Cangrejos Clubs, and annual all expenses paid trips to Florence, Italy; to Mr. Scholer, a year-long vacation on a Caribbean island to write more novels and as many free nights at Casa Marina in Key West as he wants; to Mr. Gonzalez, a sincere thank you for always believing in me and helping me grow in my faith through Campus Ministry and annual all expenses paid trips to Puerto Rico; to Mr. Lynskey, a chance to relive his football days; to Mr. Rodriguez, tickets to every Celtics game for the rest of his life; to Dr. Burrus, a book so he can write his numerous stories about the good old days at CCHS; to Mr. Linfors, a sincere thank you for allowing me to write for the Log and attend Close Up; to Mr. Ibarra, a year-long cruise around the world for all the dedication and headaches from moderating SAC for six years; to Mrs. Cedeño and Mrs. Gonzalez, a sincere thank you for allowing me to work with you in SAC this school year; to Ms. McCullagh, the original U.S. Constitution and Declaration of Independence; to Br. John, Br. George and Br. Marcos, a sincere thank you for all the laughs we shared together; to Paul, a much needed vacation for the countless hours he spends controlling Columbus traffic on school days and numerous weeknights and weekends, and a faster golf cart; to Mr. Chacon and my fellow Key Club officers, a sincere thank you for making my involvement with Key Club an enjoyable and memorable one; to Mr. Moritz, his own stock market investment firm; to Mr. Weber, many more state championships; to all those that work on the first floor of the Mas Building, especially Mr. Harris, Ms. Branas, and Ms. Cruz, a sincere thank you for the compliments, laughs, and smiles; to Br. Kevin, tickets to a New York Yankees game at Yankee Stadium and a blank check; to the administration, faculty, and staff of Columbus High School, a sincere thank you for developing me into a young man of integrity, faith, and passion; to all the Marist Brothers, a sincere thank you for inspiring me to devote my life to making Jesus Christ known and loved through Mary; and last but not least, to the Class of 2016, my brothers for life, a sincere thank you for making these past four years the happiest and proudest years of my life.

 

I, Daniel de la Rosa, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. O’Brien, an Xbox with a copy of Call of Duty World at War and a lifetime membership to the Columbus Country Club; to Brother Felix, I give Mets season tickets; to Mr. Kumer, I give 24 nonstop hours of Power of Place videos; to Mr. Crossman, a chance to take a selfie with Patrick Stewart (Professor X); to Mr. Aviles, a universal mute button; to Mr. Cunningham, an evil stare contest versus the Joker; to Mr. Isenberg, the official title of Rabbi and an endless supply of questionable, student carved, wood sculptures; to Mr. Gonzalez, professional singing lessons so that all future students will be able to appreciate his wonderful voice; to Mr. Linfors, a chance to co-direct the The Silmarillion when it inevitably goes into production.

 

I, Daniel Infantas, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Santa-Maria, the ability to find his stolen posters and fewer commies in class; to Mr. Linfors & Mr. Lynskey, a pair of friendship bracelets.

 

I, Nikolai Vazquez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Delgado, a personal chef named Jon; to Mr. Moreno, an iOS development book; to Mr. Ortega, a frustration-free Smartboard; to Mr. Linfors, a holy hand grenade; to Mr. Cooper, tickets to watch Guns N’ Roses perform Sweet Child O’ Mine live; to Mrs. Cofresi, some pet lions and tigers and bears (oh my!); to Mr. Kumer, a personal island without an established government.

 

I, Michael Tonarely, hopes that one day: Mrs. Chomat receives a portrait of her twelve apostles from AP Chem (2014-2015); Mr. Linfors and his own fellowship save Earth from destruction to build an intergalactic highway; Mrs. Cofresi can rebuild her Wall of Weird in all its nonsensical glory; Dr. Mederos has enough time to do more labs ad demonstrations in class; Mr. Trujillo flies (fearlessly) and parachutes from a C-47; and finally that people stop mistaking me for my brother.

 

I, Sebastian Crow, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Trujillo, the one and only Crow’s Corner: Season Three; to Mr. Lynskey, a voice recording of me saying every single letter and word known in the English language; to Mr. Linfors, one of my greatest jokes ever and he’s going to laugh this time; to Mr. Scholer, my broken cell phone from the band trip; to Mr. Santa-Maria, all the ice water in the Dade County area and all the stuff for the stuff box; to Mr. O’Brien, my plans for world domination; to Mr. Cooper, a soprano saxophone signed by Keith Cooper from ArtOfficial.

 

I, Lucas LoMonaco, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: thanks to all the teachers at Columbus for shaping the determined human being I am today.

 

I, Jospeh Alvarez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Lynskey, my most prized possession, the jean jacket; to Mr. Ciocca, an endless supply of carrots; to Mr. Linfors, a meeting with Harry Gandalf; and, finally, to Mrs. Galvez-Cuesta, all the road maps to college we made.

 

I, Fernando Cordal, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Morrissey, a traditional stick and beard trimmer; to Mrs. Maratos, my amazing yearbook leadership skills; and to Mr. Linfors, some hope that the Capitals might ever win a Stanley Cup.

 

I, Robert Catalá, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Cooper, my guitar, chords, and anything else I never brought to his class; to Coach Merritt, some hair; to Mr. Lynskey, a recording of how to pronounce my last name; to Coach Pelegrin, a gym membership; to Mrs. Cofresi, for no one to break my Wall of Weird record; to Mr. Linfors, more “driving in Miami” tweets; and to Fr. Julian, a couple of dings.

 

I, Alejandro Ros, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Aviles, a room full of PA speakers and announcements; to Ms. Taylor, a plastic water bottle; to Mr. Linfors, Grendel’s mom; to Mr. Lynskey, a new pair of sneakers to go with his slacks, button-down shirt and tie; to Dr. Dugard, a cardboard cut-out of me so he knows what it feels like to actually have me present in his class.

 

I, Carlos Luis, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Br. John, I give you thanks; to Mr. Pino, a map of the Middle East; to Mrs. Gonzalez, a cedar plank salmon recipe book; to Mr. Morrissey, a video tape of you playing with the lacrosse stick in class; and to Br. Felix, a Miami Dolphins jacket.

 

I, Hugo Daniel Parrado-Francos, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: an anti-cockroach cup to Mr. O’Brien; a new coffee maker for Mr. Saavedra; an autographed Rondo jersey for Mr. Rodriguez; a copy of the Constitution signed by the Founding Fathers for Ms. McCullagh; Bilbo’s bones for Mr. Linfors; a Star Wars blaster for Mr. Pugh; Bosley for Mr. Lynskey; and a copy of my grades for Br. Herb.

 

I, Jared Machado, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Kumer, the legacy of YPA; to Ms. Taylor, the world’s largest water bottle filled with shark fin soup; to Mr. Rodriguez and Mr. Staiano, season tickets for the Heat, nosebleed of course; Mr. Linfors, a meadhall in Middle-earth.

 

I, Andy Fernandez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Ms. Taylor, a bag containing 1,658 plastic water bottles; to Mr. Foyo, an automatic door so that I don’t have to get up every five seconds to open the door; to Mrs. Chomat, all the stress that I retained from that class; to Mr. Linfors, a Grendel and a meadhall; to Mrs. Acevedo, a recording of the quadratic formula song on a loop; and, finally, to Columbus, a thank you for the greatest four years of my life.

 

I, Kevin Logue, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Crossman, a pair of stilts so he can look me in the eye; to Dr. Burrus, a pair of fresh shades because he’s the coolest guy in school.

 

I, Nicholas Llobell, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Coach Stewart, my ID; to Mr. Isenberg, all my apologies for wasting all of his time; to Ms. Leonard, my upmost gratitude for always listening to what I have to say; to Mr. O’Brien, a dog training whistle; finally to Mr. Chacon, all my love because if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be pursuing a career in writing and wouldn’t be where I am right now.

 

I, Jordan Alonso, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Cantor, a protégé so he can scream louder than I do in the gym; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a life-size poster of Paul Walker; to Mr. O’Brien, pull-up bars in his classroom; to all students not graduating, the secret formula to beat Coach Husk and Coach Dukes in a wrestling match.

 

I, Kevin Housholder, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: more Hudl film to Coach Merritt; to Mr. Linfors, a day to learn from the elves; to Coach Trujillo, round trip plane tickets; to Mr. Lynskey, a bottle of aged whiskey; to Mr. Ciocca, a student who actually knows marked structures backwards, blindfolded and diagonally; and finally, one single dolla for Br. Kevin.

 

I, Brandon Hiebra, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ciocca, a horse that always drinks the water; to Mr. Aviles, a mute button for his PA system.

 

I, David Martell, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Br. Herb, a thanks for getting me through my senior season; to Mr. Trujillo, a PhD for being the greatest doctor I know; to Mr. Rodriguez, a huge poster of former Boston Celtics Jason Terry getting dunked on by former Miami Heat Lebron James.

 

I, Jake Nardo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Aviles, a screwdriver to take apart the PA system so it does not interrupt him; to Mr. Scholer, bowling lessons so he can’t say that he doesn’t bowl; to Mr. Isenberg, my textbook wrestling skills; to Ms. McCullagh, a room sized Constitution.

 

I, Tomas Suarez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ciocca, a booklet of mildly funny jokes; to Mr. Ortega, a board that works by his will and wishes; to Mrs. Maratos, a pair of glasses.

 

I, Joshua Uche, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Trujillo, unlimited Super Bowl tickets; to Mr. Lynskey, a one way ticket to Europe.

 

I, Christopher Alexander George Beltran, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Moritz, a framed photo of his favorite student; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a 50% coupon to a printing company so he may buy as many posters he wants; to Mr. O’Brien, a complete collection of every military uniform worn in WWII; to Mrs. Hidalgo, the completed Odyssey packet that had been lost at the end of the freshmen year, only to be found last year.

 

I, Nicholas Lorido, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. O’Brien, any country’s flags he is missing; to Mr. Foyo, a pair of men’s glasses; to Br. Eladio, thank you for all the advice and help; to Mr. Staiano, a signed Wade jersey.

 

I, Christopher Sierra, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Santa-Maria, a very furious recording of me saying, “NO!”; to Mr. Moreno, a super binary-coding machine; to Mr. Benitez and Mr. Weber, an endless Cuban cigar; to Mrs. Maratos, microscope seeing glasses so she can see basic shapes.

 

I, Christian Tootle, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to OB, Mr. Sir!; to Mr. Moritz, On Campus; to Mr. Trujillo, a picture of Captain Sobel; to Coach Moscoso, a body to shock-and-shed; to Mr. Foyo, an assignment I actually completed; to Coach Pelegrin, turnover drills with less running.

 

I, Emmanuel Mendez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Kumer, a life-size poster of me for his wall; and to Paul, a fresh set of rims for his golf cart; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a heater for his room.

 

I, David Abboud, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. O’Brien, another student who has him for three classes straight; to Paul, a brand new golf cart with 15’s and spinners; to Mr. Trujillo, a Constitution, my outline, and a tape recording of “Gentlemen, will you rise please!”

 

I, Javi Trujillo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Linfors, whatever quantity of mithril qualifies as “a lot”; to Mr. Morrissey, all of my inifinite knowledge and experience of lacrosse compiled into one manifesto; to Mr. Cantor, a DVD collection of Jane Fonda exercise videos complete with a pair of white New Balance sneakers and leg warmers.

 

I, Eugene Savitsky, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mrs. McGrath, a half-full wine glass with the words “Ain’t it good to be the coach?” inscribed on it, along with a copy of the critically acclaimed play Three First Dates and the 90’s; to Mr. Chacon, the keys to the Columbus short-bus and a universal parking decal valid anywhere in the city of Tampa; to Dr. Dugard, the title of Sir to complete the trifecta of Sir Doctor Deacon Dugard; to Mr. Delgado, three Blu-Ray copies of Chef so that you can call it a trilogy; to Mrs. Maratos, vegan chips and hermit crabs that last longer than a semester.

 

I, Gaspard Michel Etienne, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mrs. Foyo, a picture of my smiling face; to Mr. Aviles a never ending announcement recording; to Mr. Scholer, a permanently closed back door so as to not continue with screaming of “SHUT THAT BACK DOOR”; to Mr. Crossman, I leave an electronic wheelchair powered by his great mind and as for my title of being the whitest black guy at Columbus I leave it to junior and soon to be senior Simon Amofah; thank you and Adelante.

 

I, Michael Ricardo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Coach Merritt, under that bald head and tough exterior there is a lot of love that fills the hearts of many; to Mr. O’Brien, the only person man enough to be called Mr. Sir.

 

I, Anthony Codinach, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: my collection of bald eagle wigs to Mr. Lynskey; a small Kurdish army to Mr. Kumer; a wrestling coach whistle to Mr. O’Neal; cough drops to Coach Husk; a reason to smile for Coach Dukes; the position of President of the United States to Mr. O’Brien; Florida State University’s mascot horse to Mr. Scholer.

 

I, Jakob Vinson, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. McKeon, my hanging curve ball so he can hang it up in his room.

 

I, Nicolas Figueras, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mrs. Cedeno, a statue of me eating food in her class; to Mr. Crossman, a list of all the days of school I’ve missed; to Mr. Kumer, an infinite amount of workout supplements; to Mr. Linfors, a perfect depiction of Treasure Island on film; to Mr. Ciocca, a Tom Brady jersey along with his signature; to Mr. Aviles, a Dolphins team that actually makes the playoffs; and to all my teachers over the past four years, those listed and those not, an infinite amount of respect and gratitude alongside a “Thank you” for dealing with me.

 

I, Phillip Bootsma, being of sound mind and body bequeath: to Mr. Delgado, a special edition Blu-Ray copy of Chef signed by actor/director Jon Favreau and a new elbow and ACL; to Mrs. Hidalgo, an all-expenses paid trip to Atlanta and a banana; to Mr. Morrissey, a floating buoy to match his students; to Br. Herb, a “Feel the Bern” T-Shirt; and to Mr. Linfors, a Grendel.

 

I, Andrew Casanova, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Br. Felix, an unlimited supply of minus-twenties; to Mrs. Cofresi, many thanks and much love to the best teacher, mentor, and friend; to Mr. Linfors, an instant index card incinerator; to Mrs. Cedeño, a Spanish torture prison for any student who dares say “yo sabo”; to Mr. Gonzalez, the ability to always “blame it on the 80’s”; to Mr. Cantor, a big book of every and all “how to jump higher” exercises; to Mr. Cunningham, the all’s-to-know-about survival guide to “being a civil member of society.”

 

I, Andres Mendoza, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Mendoza, the nickname of Mendo since I inherited it freshmen year; to Br. Eladio, a very happy Monday; to Br. Kevin, the winning lottery numbers for the rest of his life; and to Mr. Gonzalez, thank you for all the help, guidance, and support you’ve given me since freshmen year; you are truly a role model.

 

I, Cesar Santalo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Isenberg, a big thank you and tickets to a Gregg Edelman show; to Mr. Lynskey, a pair of New Balance sneakers and a thank you for everything; to the underclassmen, the legacy of the jean jacket; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a collection of all the Fast and Furious movies and an autographed picture of Janet Yellen.

 

I, Geroge Kyriakopoulos, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ciocca, foreign exchange island and all of its carrot fields; to Mr. Linfors, two tickets to the Reduced Shakespeare Company; to Mr. Pelegrin, a lifetime membership to LA Fitness; to Mr. Morrissey, a magnifying glass so he can even more carefully read the essays; to Mrs. Leonard, a book called Physics: Math with Blah, Blah; to Mr. Cunningham, the coolest job in the world, Supreme Court Justice; to Mr. O’Brien, the Greek flag.

 

I, Daniel del Castillo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Weber, an energy bus to last a lifetime; to Mrs. Maratos, a list of all your life tips to hang in your classroom; to Doctor Deacon Dugard, a new stormtrooper helmet to make the talkers of the class wear; to Mr. Parsons, a trophy for “Chillest Substitute Ever”; to Mr. Linfors, a pet hobbit.

 

I, Adrian Gonzalez-Vallina, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Linfors, a life-size statue of Gandalf; to Mr. O’Brien, a signed Eagles jersey; to Br. Kevin, one more dollar.

 

I, Jakse Morejon, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. O’Brien, a lifetime supply of incense candles; to Mrs. Maratos, a fresh pair of Jordans to ball up the freshmen.

 

I, Chris Molina, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Kumer, a pair of shoulder pads to relive your football memories; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a sticker of my face he can sell for a whopping $10; to Mr. Foyo, an agenda to keep track on deadlines.

 

I, Brandon Garcia, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Scholer, a lifetime supply of Grateful Dead music.

 

I, Andres Medina, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Paul, the world’s best traffic whistle; to Mr. Scholer, a Go-Pro to record the wild life the legend lives; to Mr. O’Brien, a lifetime supply of incense and protein shakes.

 

I, Matthew Garcia, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Coach Stewart, a lifelong Pandora subscription; to Mr. Scholer, a museum filled with all his memories, especially those of me; to Mr. McKeon, all of my baby pictures and my Columbus diploma attached to the football jersey of the best player on Columbus history; to Br. Kevin, all my current belongings, in order to improve Columbus to the max.

 

I, Danny Hidalgo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Dr. Saavedra, coffee every morning.

 

I, Stellan Moreira, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Foyo, You the Man!

 

I, Niles A. Garcia, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: all my amazing art work to Mr. Isenberg, so he can gaze upon it everyday and dream about it; to Mr. Foyo, all the math homework I didn’t do; to Mr. Santa-Maria, the dankest meme (and some reddit gold); to Mr. Staiano, a signed picture of all the Heat players (including Shaq); and to Mr. Scholer, a drawing of Alice from Alice and Wonderland.

 

I, Ryan Sosa, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Isenberg, my school uniform so that he may know I have one; to Mrs. Maratos, a picture of all of my artwork; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a Shut Up button; and to Coach Husk, a life-size poster of me for the wrestling room, so that he’ll never forget me.

 

I, Jonathan T. Gutierrez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: all my being, with love, joy and honor to the school of Christopher Columbus HS, but in more specification – to Mr. Lynskey, a Father’s Day card, love you dad!; to Coach Pelegrin, a pair of elevator shoes; to Mr. Ciocca a $5,000 shopping spree at Publix, he gets hungry some times; to Mr. Isenberg, a Cubs cap; to Mr. Frazier, some new golf clubs; to Mr. Cunningham, a trip back to the motherland, mission successful; to Mrs. Cofresi, a raise; to Mr. O’Brien, a bottle of the finest Irish whiskey there is; to Mr. Linfors, a Grendel suit and an all expense paid trip to Denmark; and to the rest of the school a big thank you for changing my life for the better and helping me get into college.

 

I, Giuseppe Pulvirenti, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Santa-Maria, a spiked leather jacket; to Mrs. Maratos, a camera, so she may document future generations of the Columbus brotherhood; to Mr. Morrissey, his copy of Shutter Island that he lent me and I eventually lost; finally, to Mr. O’Brien, a Lüger, a piece of history from his favorite subject, WW2.

 

I, Daniel Valcarcel, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Moritz, some bongos; to Br. George, an eagle statue; to Br. Herb, the $2 I owe you; to Mr. Linfors, a free trip to Close Up; to Mr. Cooper, a skateboard park in the band room with unlimited chips and salsa; to Mr. Frazier, a putting green in your classroom.

 

I, Anthony Millán, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ciocca, a truck load of baby carrots; to Coach Stewart, all the tomato pieces I did not eat during pregame meals; to Mr. Crossman, a small chair so his feet may touch the ground when he sits down; to Br. Herb, seasons 1-6 of Game of Thrones on DVD.

 

I, Arni Arnason, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath: for Mr. Linfors, my late pass that never expires; to Ms. Taylor, an infinite amount of plastic water bottles and a hat that says “Chico!”; to Mr. Lynskey, a desk that has my name carved on it to go next to my Dad’s, and, for Mr. Kumer – asthma inducing incense.

 

I, Carlos Torre, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath: to Br. Felix, a cardboard cutout of Dr. Harold Hill, along with a link to a 24/7 stream of my iPad screen so he no longer has to ask what I’m doing with it; to Mr. Linfors, a personal interview with JRR Tolkein, the one ring and a “mute student” button; to Mr. Ciocca, a “that was easy” button; to Ms. Fernandez, students who actually give absent notes the way they’re supposed to; to Fr. Julian, a house in Rome and another in San Francisco; to Mr. Moritz, a lifetime supply of Beanie Weenies and a pair of pajamas with the feeties on them; to Mr. Aviles, a sledgehammer for the PA speaker; to Paul, a Superman suit and a megaphone; to Br. John, a free tour, and scholarship listings for, Clown College; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a real, giant Care Bear and Jar Jar Binks; to Sra. Gonzalez, a real Giraffe named Daisy; to Coach Stewart, an ID printing machine; to Mr. Green, Mr. Gonzalez, Dr. Mederos, Mr. Moreno, Mr. Kumer, Br. Brady, Br. Eladio, Sir Deacon Dr. Professor Dugard, esq., Mr. Cunningham and Br. Peter, a very sincere thank you; to Columbus, I give my little cousin, Enrique. I would also like to give Br. Kevin a million dollars and this picture:

br kevin

 

I, Ryan Merritt, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Linfors, a live hobbit to keep in a cage in the back of your classroom; to Mr. Crossman, a few more inches; to Mr. Trujillo, an airplane ride to a country of your choice; to Mrs. Chomat, a group of students that actually understand acid-base; to Mr. Ciocca, the inclination to purchase a Yugo when income increases; and to Coach Merritt, the ability to grow a mullet again.

 

I, Joey Chica, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Lynskey – Gunner; to Mr. Pino – a daughter; to Mr. Foyo – my gratitude in the denomination of fake points I’ve been given; to Mr. Linfors – sleep sounds, so you can understand; to Coach Stewart – the middle name Hustle.

 

I, Miguelangel De Armas, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Br. Eladio, a lifetime of chocolates to give to anyone who stops by your office; to Mr. Cooper, Hero’s ever-broken saxophone fixed and a portable xylophone to prevent any death scares; to Mr. Crossman, a podium to replace Mr. Cooper’s music stand, a stool to reach that podium, and a plethora of interesting links that a myriad of students won’t check; to Mr. Garcia-Casals, a promise to continue reading Spanish literature to make up for my lack of attendance and punctual homework throughout the year; to Mr. Mederos, (hopefully) a passing score on the AP and the missing Newton ball; to Mr. Ortega, low “p” towels, all the homework I never did, and my thanks for whipping me into shape freshman year; to Mr. Panzer, a Hamlet costume so you can act out scenes with the unsuspecting victims in the front row and a box full of prop arms to remember me by; to Mrs. Chomat, the titration curve I couldn’t do on the AP, built in buckets attached to all desks for the tears, and a robot who Sheila Shines; to Mrs. Cofresi, a human hamster ball to prevent further injuries; to Mrs. Galvez-Cuesta, the most successful Silver Knight nominees you’ve ever had, a (Penn)ant, and a much needed vacation so you can finally forget about school; to Mrs. McCullagh, a new word generator and Rho Kappa participation; to Mrs. Sanchez, an infinite amount of dirty desks for misbehaving students to clean; to Ms. Perez, a DIY murder investigation kit for forensic chemistry; to Sra. Gonzalez and Sra. Cedeño, a “miraculo” with future SAC boards and activities, since they will never top this year’s.

 

I, Eddie Pozo, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ciocca, a unique rabbit to share his carrots with; to Coach Trujillo, a coach’s polo; to Coach Merritt, an accompanying gray cloud tattoo for his lightning bolt; to Mr. Panzer, a French-to-English dictionary; to Mr. Cunningham, a bullet proof vest.

 

I, Javier Busto, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Foyo, a wall sized mirror for the back of the class to see who’s playing games; to Mr. Panzer, a portrait of me.

 

I, Robert Gutierrez, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Gonzalez singing and guitar lessons; to Mr. Cantor, a pair of pants; to Brother Brady, green tea extract; to Mr. de la Begassiere a ticket back to France; to Ms. McCullagh, a one and a half inch binder.

 

I, Chris Beltran, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Aviles, one more Dolphins playoff berth in his lifetime; to Mr. Pugh, a head of hair for a comb-over; to Mr. Panzer, one student who knows what he is actually doing.

 

I, Christian Capper, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Ciocca, a lifetime supply of cheese-sticks; to Mr. Mederos, a hug since he is one of the nicest guys I know; to Mr. Linfors, a Stanley Cup for the Washington Capitals.

 

I, Felipe Acosta, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Mr. Panzer, a “modern” French dictionary; to Br. John, a large bag of candies to make up for all the ones I’ve taken; to Mr. Santa-Maria, a giant Maltese tiger statue; to Mr. Weber, a new Webdog machine; to Ms. McGrath, a signed sticky note.

 

I, Robert Lewis, being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath: to Br. Eladio, a thank you for everything, an HD camera, and charismatic Squires; to Mr. Crossman, a collection of his sentence pattern examples and the Nobel Prize in Literature; to Mr. Panzer, a “That [Wasn’t] Easy” button; to Mrs. Galvez-Cuesta, hopefully, a Silver Knight trophy; to Mr. Kumer, the authority to bring peace to the Middle East; to Mr. Ibarra, blister proof boots; to Mr. Staiano and Mr. Isenberg, each other; to Mrs. Cedeño, Mr. Explorer.

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